![]() ![]() ![]() But as a 16-year-old girl who hadn't given much thought to sexual violence, my ideas about perpetrators came from TV shows, where it was usually an armed, monstrous lunatic who lurked in the bushes. Thordis Elva: Tom was already a human being in my eyes, as we'd been in a romantic relationship for a month before he raped me. ![]() Teen Vogue: Did humanizing Tom help you heal? We spoke to Thordis about why she went on this journey, what she learned, and what she wants people to know about sexual assault. That's what lead to their TED Talk, and now the two have published a book together called South of Forgiveness, out today, exploring the assault and the impact it had on both of them. But when words weren't enough, Thordis and Tom met up in Cape Town to discuss the rape face to face. Part of Thordis's healing process included reaching out to Tom nine years later, which triggered a years-long exchange between the two. After the assault, Thordis said she spent years blaming herself and trying to unpack what had happened to her. See, while the two were dating in 1996 as teenagers, Tom raped Thordis. Others were outraged that Thordis allowed Tom on stage with her. After hearing their story, some praised the two for coming together and broaching a subject that's so complicated and stigmatized. When Thordis Elva and Tom Stranger took the stage together and delivered a TED Talk in 2016, it elicited a lot of reactions. ![]()
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